Is it Possible to Find Marriage Advice That Will Actually Help Your Marriage?
All marriages, at some point, go through rough times. There is no way around it. When it does, the first thing a lot of people do is to go outside of their marriage and look for help. Is the help offered from an outside party good for your marriage?
When a marriage is in trouble, one of the first things people do is to go to family and friends for advice. Sometimes this isn’t the best idea. Family and friends should be there for support – someone to lean on, someone to listen. Why not for advice?
Family and friends, although not intentionally, choose sides. If you are the one seeking advice, they will try to help you by suggesting things that would benefit you – not both of you. The same goes for friends – they don’t want to make things worse for either of you, but they offer advice that will benefit one of you more than the other.
Friends and family can offer suggestions, especially if they have been through similar things in their own relationship. But, since no two relationships are the same, then you have to adjust their advice to suit your own relationship.
If you are involved in church, seek advice from your Pastor or Priest. They can not only offer advice, but the support you need. Churches sometimes offer marriage counseling services. They can offer ways to communicate with your spouse, and ways to solve the problems you are faced with, spiritually. They can tell you of other places that you can go for help, such as marriage retreats.
Professional marriage counselors can help, but they can also cost an arm and a leg. They can offer sound advice, but both of you must be willing to not only GO to one, but you have to tell each other EVERYTHING. Everything must come out into the open, or that kind of counselling just won’t work.
Any marital advice that is offered can be used for the good of your marriage, IF you can adjust it specifically for YOUR marriage. What will help one marriage can destroy another. How can you tell if it will work for yours? That part is easy.
You know how you respond to different circumstances, and how your spouse does. If the advice you got was to talk to your spouse, and neither of you like to talk, then that won’t work for you. Obviously, the ARE ways that the two of you communicate, though. Instead of talking, express your thoughts and feelings the way that the two of you are comfortable with.
There are many forms of advice out there, and a lot of it may be very good advice. But NO advice is good if it won’t conform to your marriage. Try new ways of dealing with problems. There are as many ways to fix problems as there are the problems themselves. Your marriage is unique – as the two of you are. Lean on each other, support each other, and the two of you will get through this together.